There’s nothing quite like a good dose of school holidays to make you assess your life choices #deathbydobbing.
I mean, I adore those little dirtbags but man … there’s four of them. FOUR. What was I thinking? Not about logistics, that’s for sure.
I’m looking at all of your posts – all of you sensible folk with one or two kids – all of you that are going to theme parks, visiting friends, eating out, seeing shows, enjoying the beach. Oh yeah, I know we go to the beach too – the key word there was enjoying.
Four. It’s not that huge. I have friends with five … and some with even more *gulps and wonders if one can get their tubes tied twice*, but it’s getting up there.
Four is enough of a number to notice that life has maybe moved beyond the ‘regular’, enough of a number to realise that one more might be pushing the envelope. Life is probably showing you signs that maybe you have enough kids and I’ve listed a few of them for you here …
18 signs that you might have enough kids …
- You assess the need for discipline on a ‘Did anybody die?’ basis.
- Kid number four is eating out of the bin and you think “Yes! One less for lunch today.”
- You buckle everyone into their carseats noticing one is vacant, and it takes you 10 minutes to work out who is missing.
- Rather than write everyone’s names, your gift cards are signed ‘Us’.
- The stash of numerical birthday candles in your third drawer would allow you to cater the party of a 98765432110 year old.
- Your eggs come in cartons of 48.
- When responding to a misbehaving child, it takes you a minimum of three attempts to get their name right.
- Your friends come to visit then leave … via the vasectomy clinic.
- When you go out to a restau … JUST KIDDING! As if.
- You begin a game of hide’n’seek and tell the kids you’ll come find them after you count to eight-million.
- The dude at the bottle-shop greets you with “Your usual?”
- You see comets more often than you see the bottom of the laundry hamper.
- It’s occurred to you that Brad and Ange don’t have with one with red hair, and you notice that you have some spare …
- There’s not enough circles on a game of Twister.
- You’ve joined the gym, purely so you can have a shower in peace.
- You can use the ‘groups’ entrance at theme parks.
- You call the hairdressers and they need to clear the whole day to fit you all in.
- Milk consumption means you’ve seriously assessed the viability of having your own cow.
Have you got a bunch of kids? What would you include on this list?